Untitled

Sep 29

Teresa Elizondo →

Here is my first art submission ever! The first of many more to come! Whoo Hoo!

May 01

My Lover

What can I say about my man of mine? First of all, I can’t really say he’s my man but, for the hours we are together he IS.  My Israeli lover………sighing……sighing….sighing.

  I prayed to God and the Universe for some male energy in my life and by did I get it! As soon as the door closes to my bedroom, he is on me but, slowly. He draws me in and kisses me, caresses me, takes me in…….mmmmmm. Oh excuse me, FLASHBACK!!! He slowly removes my clothes and slowly(everything is slow in the beginning) devours my breasts….lovely. now, I don’t want to go into too much detail but, I do want to say, I love love love being involved with someone who enjoys what we do as much as I do. Can I also say, he has a lovely body and says nothing bad about mine A+++++++. when he sees and hears that what he’s doing is giving me pleasure, it sparks a fire within him and does it even more with extra passion until I tell him to stop or I enter a pleasure stupor, whichever comes first (no pun intended). He’s a listener and I love it…..he takes control and I love it. No questions, no talking except to give a little direction….love it!! And at the end of the night when all is said and done, we part with dopey smiles on our faces….lost in dreamland…….lalala.

  Whether this man has feeling for me or not is no importance to me as long as he’s giving me what I need and I can give him what he needs. AWESOMENESS!! He’s such a change from what I’m used to and now I think I’m spoiled. 

Mar 08

Why Has Shaving Always Been Such a Big Deal?

 So, I started thinking about this today. not for any reason in particular, just a random thought. “Why is shaving such a big deal?”. I always get the stink face or a laugh when I show off my unshaved legs….usually in the privacy of my own home. I get the usual comment “Girl you need to shave your legs!” same goes for my pits. 

 Here’s the deal, I only shave for these reasons, 1)wearing something short 2)sex or possibility of sex 3)My hair has gotten so long it gets stuck in my socks and pulls 4)I just can’t stand to look at it anymore. Sad thing is, I can look back and find times when I did the same thing to others but, why is my question. Why is it such a big deal and when did it start? 

 According to an article “Caucasian Female Body Hair and American Culture” written by Christine Hope for the Journal of American Culture we were tricked browbeaten into it by the beauty of advertising. Something we are still falling victim to. Look it up check out the article, it’s an interesting read. The idea was to trick women into believing that underarm hair was unsightly. This was around the time when sleeveless and short fashions were becoming fashionable. Ads stated “The Women of Fashion says the underarm must be as smooth as the face” ahh the power of advertising. Shaving the legs became more popular with the popularity of Betty Grable in the 40’s.

 So, what is it? How is it that we here shave shave and shave and women in Europe don’t and have no problem not doing it? It looks and feels nice but, do we really need to waste our time shaving when we’re wearing pants and long sleeved shirts and sweaters? And let’s not get into the whole shaving of the nether regions I mean come on! that is the biggest pain int the culo I have ever encountered. Shaving, waxing, depilatory creams and so on. What an economical waste.

 Don’t you think it’s a little freaky that everyone wants to be smooth as a babies bottom?! And wanting to permanently get rid of it…what about when the ice age hits again? We’re gonna need that hair to keep us warm.

 Anyway, I think I’ve run out of things to say for the moment on this subject, not even sure I’ve made total sense but, whatever. I’m so sick of standards and how people think you are supposed to look. dress this way, wear this label, put on some makeup and fix your hair just so. Well, no thank you. my feeling is if I do that and meet a m an he will expect this of me all the time and that is not me, my get ready time will double, maybe even triple…..screw that noise. Love me or leave me. No false advertising here…..

Jan 24

Woman on Woman Hate

 I woke up this morning wondering why it is that we as women must hate on each other. Backstabbers that’s what they are. They smile in each other’s faces, hug and tell each other “You look great!” and then turn and tell someone else “Man, did you see that outfit she was wearing!?”. Why does this happen? Where did it come from? I think it is such a horrible thing! Why do they feel the need to remain friends with someone they really don’t like? So they can get ammo to use on them later? To make THEM feel better? I don’t get it. I’ve had people in my life like this and at some point I had to decide, are they making my life better or worse? How do I feel when I’m with them? I had to let them go.
   I don’t want to hang out with those types. They cause anger and distrust. They cause stress. Three things I do not want in my life. I watch these shows on tv and they make me sick. I can’t stand all that drama! But, I guess people like to watch grown women act like spoiled children. Because of these women(not the ones on tv), we can’t trust each other. I get stinkeye from random women on the street who think I want their men! Excuse me! Just because I glanced in your direction does not mean I am gonna try and steal your man! First of all, why would I want to be that woman? I wouldn’t want some random crazed woman showin up at my door tryin to kill me! Come on!! Second of all 9x’s out of 10 that guy is not cute and I was probably fascinated by his FABULOUS outfit! NOT!!!  Anyway, jealousy and distrust is a horrible thing and it is keeping lots of women from being true friends. I would really like to be able to tell someone something and have them believe it. Because when I tell you something, you best believe it, ‘cause unless I’m joking with you, I swear to tell the truth and nothing but, the truth. Besides, I’m a really bad liar. If I lie to you then that should be a clue that I don’t give a rat’s patooty about you! Hahahahahaha! Anyway, I’ve lost my train of thought. I think I’ve skidded off track.
    All I really want to say is…ladies get your act together! Be honest and true to each other or stay away. To those out there who are completely and totally fake, just know that at some point you will end up alone because no one will want to deal with your b.s. anymore. The only thing you’re good for is boozing it up and false flattery and, that gets old eventually.
                                     
                                 EXFOLIATE THOSE FAKE FRIENDS AND FRENEMIES LADIES!!
                                                               You will feel so much better.
Jan 24
Dec 17

Love and Dating

 This is a long one so, bear with me. I babble and have wandering thoughts :)
 Ok, I personally feel that we should go back to dating like they did back in the 40’s, 50’s, and 60’s. Back when my parents  were young, teens and young adults would date more than one guy or girl at a time. Somewhere along the way people started committing almost immediately. Now, instead of having 2 or more options, we saddle ourselves with one. We set our sights on each relationship being “The One”, setting ourselves up for failure.
  Unfortunately, I think women do it more than men. A lot of us are raised with the belief that we must find the perfect guy, get married, and have children to be successful. If we don’t do it by a certain age, we are looked at as failures. I know some things have changed but, even if you say “I have made a conscience decision not to get married”, I think people still secretly view you as a failure in love. They can’t believe you actually mean it but, that’s another subject. Anyway, we have these ideas imbedded in our brains from an early age. Stupid princess fantasies! Oh where is my Prince?! Why doesn’t that he like me!? Can’t he see how awesome I am!? He can’t!? So, then I must not be as awesome as I thought I was! All these people who reassure me and tell me I’m beautiful and smart must be lying to make me feel better because the guys just aren’t seeing it and I’m still single!
  Man! What a load of crap we pump into ourselves! I have had to reboot my heart and brain so that I can understand that that’s not how it really works. All of those ideas are a bunch of CRAP!!!! Everyone is working their way towards a goal. Be it a career, love, or both. Some people are never meant to find love, and if that’s what my destiny is then so be it. It’s kind of a sad prospect but, if I can have some mini relationships along the way then, I think I can deal with that. If by some chance I find him, the man to call my own, then it will be a pleasant surprise. But, I have decided the search for love is one stress I don’t need in my life. It is keeping from my life goals. I allowed the search for love to cloud my vision and take me off track but, I’m back! I can now focus on what I really need to do with my life. I’m not alone in this. I have come across quite a few women and, some men who have been knocked off track with this love obsession. We all have to understand, love will come to you. If you actively search for it, you may just accept anyone and think “This is it! I have found him(her)!” and lead yourself down a path you were not meant to go on. Well, chalk it up as a learning experience when it ends ‘cause, it probably will.
 Now guys I believe are taught to try everything and move on. The next big thing is around the corner so, get what you can out of this one while you can! I know it doesn’t pertain to ALL men. I do know quite a few men who don’t think that way but, friends, family, in a relationship and gay so, what are ya gonna do.  Anyway, I believe men are taught (when the time is right) to hunt and gather. Stalk the prey, gather the resources and, toss the carcass without even a look back. Treat that carcass(woman) like Sodom and Gommorah, if you look back, you will be turned into a pillar of salt! Therefore, I feel they can bounce from woman to woman like a honeybee, gathering nectar from each one until he finds that perfect flower where he can rest and gather honey for the rest of his life. Meanwhile, the other flowers are left to wither and die without even a backwards glance from Mr. Honeybee. He is happy and content with what he’s found so, why look back?
Okay, so here’s what I think. We should all date multiple people at once. NOT have sex with everybody! Just date. Really open your mind and be aware of each person and how he(she) is. Don’t cloud your mind with fantasies and expectations. If you are not interested, move on but, please be courteous enough to at least say “I’m sorry, I’m just not feelin it” or “I’m feeling this other person and I don’t want to lead you on anymore”. That’s it simple as that. And on to the next one. If someone you are dating stops contacting you for whatever reason and does not return your phone calls, move on. I know it’s hard ‘cause we all want answers but, sometimes it’s best just to let it go. Some people just can’t vocalize their feelings. They don’t want to hurt you, they don’t care and have forgotten about you, or they feel if they don’t say anything, they can come back to you later and pick up where you left off.
AHHH LOVE! That’s it for now! I will most likely revisit this subject at a later date because I obviously have some opinions on it. J
Dec 08

A PEAK INTO MY MIND

  Alright so,  I have finally decided to just go ahead and write down my thoughts and observations. In the past I have kept these things to myself but, as the years have worn on I have been letting loose on a few lucky/unlucky? chosen ones.  Now, I GIVE IT TO THE WORRRLLDD!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA hahaha a-ahem. Where was I? okay, let’s start with my views on work and where I should be in life, or where people think I should be on life. So, we grow up with this idea that we are supposed to graduate from high school and go straight on to college and get married, find a job, have kids and live happily everafter. It’s all a crock of caca. Not everyone is destined to live this life but, because it’s what society instills in us, if you stray from that line there is something wrong with you. You are viewed as a loser, a slacker. People look at you with pity and constantly ask you, “Have you found a job yet? Well, what is it you want to do?”. Before I would answer “I don’t know, I’m not really sure what I want to get into” There are suggestions of jobs or going back to school to learn a new trade, all of which fills me with dread. I have recently decided to answer truthfully. “ What I want to do. If I could do exactly what I want in my life? It would be to paint and draw and read and create. ALL DAY. Not everyday though because, I have to go out and have fun. If I can’t do that I would just die. I think that’s why my marriage failed and I became so depressed. My husband constantly criticized my work which caused me to put the pens, pencils, and paintbrushes away. At least while he was around. I had unfinished drawings and paintings following me around for 5years. Some of them I lost, some of them I finally finished after we split. I have found it is one of the hardest most depressing things in the world to have someone you love not support you in your dream or even just your hobby. People, you should never tell a loved one that their dream or hobby is stupid and useless. Even if you don’t think it’s very good. If it makes them happy, have at it! Let them go. It makes them happy, it brings them joy which in turn will make you happy. I became depressed because my dreams and aspirations were dashed at every turn. I mean yeah I have my friends and family telling me how beautiful my work is but, then I hear, “So what ya gonna do with your life cuz you know you can’t make a decent living doing this right?” (Black cloud covers head). So, I take jobs to make money but, they don’t last long for one reason or another but, mostly because I just don’t belong in the workplace. I know that now. I am not meant to get up and the crack of dawn and waste my time making money for other people only to be treated with disrespect and no appreciation. Not saying that all of my jobs have been like that, just most of them. I have become depressed and stressed trying to find my niche in life. What vocation should I aspire to? I think it over constantly and really, there is nothing I want more to do then paint and draw and create. Thinking about having a regular 9-5 puts me in a pit of that word again. I literally get heart palpitations just thinking about it. Ok so, then I have to go back to school to learn graphic arts so I can make money creating logos and print ads? Boring! I need to be inspired! I need beauty in my life! I have decided to chuck some boring arse sand colored plates that a roommate left (sorry girl) cuz I just can’t eat off of dull. I just can’t do it! It makes my whole eating experience depressing! There’s that word again. Have you ever noticed how happy people are when  they are doing exactly what they want? That’s what I want. Starting today, well actually yesterday. I am changing my surroundings as a start to my new life. More color, more music because I lost that too. 
  So, people, I hope this makes some sort of sense. I guess my message is, don’t force someone who has a dream to live up to your dreams for them. Let them live their life. Even if you see them having a hard time. Just be there to support them. Give them a little boost, show them you love them and then move on. If they need help they will ask. Unless they’re like me then you do have to ask but, don’t push the issue because we will run. We will disappear one day and you won’t know what happened. Just know that everyone has their own life to live. You can’t live it for them just as you wouldn’t want someone else living your life and making your decisions.
                     THAT IS ALL. I HAVE SPOKEN! Boy, that was easier than I thought
Nov 30

La Mission Opens a Flood of Memories

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1200272/
  Back in November of last year, my sister and I watched La Mission and it brought back memories of my youth and my father. La Mission stars Benjamin Bratt, Jeremy Ray Valdez and Erica Alexander. It takes place in the Mission District, my favorite San Francisco neighborhood. It is about a Mission District OG coming to terms with his violent tendencies and his son’s homosexuality.
   La Mission is rich in music, color, and flavor of the Bay. Even though the movie had a kind of serious tone I still giggled every time someone spoke. They said things like “What it do?”, “A’ight”, and “Know what I’m sayin’?”. To hear Benjamin Bratt say those things actually warmed my heart and put a smile on my face. This movie was to me so authentic to what I’ve seen and heard everyday growing up here in the Bay Area. When I watched the extras and found out that Benjamin and his brother Peter grew up in Glen Park which borders the Mission and that the character Che’ (Bratt) is based on a relative, I was like “Ahh soo!” it makes perfect sense now.
   As I watched the movie I had memories of being with my father and his friend Uncle Juan. Though my Dad never owned a lowrider or wore bandanas, pendeltons or Ben Davis, he still introduced us to that culture unbeknownst to him I‘m sure. My Dad is an avid fan of Cheech and Chong. As children, those were the movies we bonded over. Cheech in a way (I think) was our  introduction to the lowrider lifestyle. I can remember listening to the oldies in the front room of Uncle Juan’s victorian home in West Oakland with my Dad as they drank and smoked pot singing and telling each other stories of their youth and giving my sisters and I history lessons in music. Both oldies and jazz along with the latin music of our culture. Uncle Juan had an eclectic collection of music from Tito Puente and Celia Cruz to Vicente Fernandez and Thelonious Monk. So one minute your listening to Miles Davis then the next someone has made mention of someone else and a particular song and he’s up and flipping through the collection searching for that one piece by James Brown or War that you just HAVE to listen to. We also used to go to lots of festivals and concerts for Cinco de Mayo. There we got to experience Flaco Jimenez for the first time and Los Lobos and to see vatos, cholos and lowriders up close and personal.
   I guess the movie really reminded me of the beauty of my childhood. The closeness of my parents to their friends, the music, and the food that evokes such feeling of warmth and love just by the mere mention of it’s name or simply seeing it on the table in a movie.
   Yes, there were bad times also. My Dad had that machismo that most men had back then. He wanted nothing to do with the homosexuals and he wasn’t too fond of  asians either. He had to give up those ideas when he found that one of his closest friends was gay and when he found that one of my closest friends was asian. It was actually really confusing and hurtful at times to hear my father say the things he did back then because he and my mother never taught us to hate anyone.

    So, for all the hurtful things my father ever said or did to my sisters and I, he also taught us to love everyone and all things. To be loyal and loving to family and friends and to treat them both as one and the same. I think I may be babbling a bit and may have lost track of what I was initially trying to say. Anyway, I just wanted to say that for me La Mission was a trip down memory lane full of rose colored memories of my father.

Oct 06

Rev. Fred L. Shuttlesworth, an Elder Statesman for Civil Rights, Dies at 89 →

Mr. Shuttlesworth survived beatings and bombings in Alabama more than four decades ago as he fought for equal rights for blacks alongside the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Oct 06

quote God Gives Us People To Love And Things To Use, Not Things To Love And People To Use…..